Please help with advice and support

[Greek]

I'll try to make this as brief as possible. I thought I had a wonderful marriage. Looking back there were times that I was not emotionally there, partied too much, and we stopped really communicating about problems years ago. W suggested counseling several times, but I thought that our love was enough.

You still seem to think that. How's that working for you?

Fast forward to late January. She drops the bomb, there's another man. They haven't had sex, but she has feelings for him and is torn as whether to leave me.

Translation: I want to have my cake and to eat it, too.

Last Friday she left. She moved out and is looking for apartments. The other man is married with kids, and hasn't even told his wife yet, the coward. I'm glad I never called her, or he'd be out on the street and fair game.

You do not understand. He does not want to marry your W. If he did, he would have left his W by now. He wants to have an A with your W - that's all. He is a cake eater, too, and if his W knew what was going on, he would be gone-Daddy-gone from your W. Seen it on here a zillion times.

She agreed to not get divorced, but try staying separated for a while.

Letting you down easy.

I don't know how much she's seeing the other man, but I assume they're together.

So you now have an open M.

I desperately want her back. We've been together for 12 years, married for 7. It's never been a perfect relationship, but she's my best friend and I love her with all my heart. Right now just trying to stay positive, confident, funny, and get in better shape to be more physically attractive to her.

Pursuit. It won't work. You should not be doing anything for her/to her/with her while she is involved with another man. It just makes you look WEAK. Chicks don't dig weak.

Tried to let her know last night that no matter what we'd always be friends, and that WHEN he hurt her I'd be there.

Blech. Translation: "W, I'm going down quietly so as not to upset your fantasy life. Keep seeing him. I'll just wait here and maybe you'll want me later." Very unattractive to a woman. Long suffering is not sexy. Long suffering is ... long suffering.

Do you want an open marriage?
Greek