Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Need to vent. I am so pissed.

Received a letter in the mail today from my W's attorney. This was the first letter I have received from W's L since my W left 4 months ago. Letter said that my W would like to amicably discuss division on marital assets. First sentence of letter says that L represents W in separation and eventual D. Just loved reading that sentence. L goes on to say that W wants to meet to discuss these issues. What the hell is my W thinking? We have met and been talking about division of our things. I guess W was upset that I had taken most of the furniture and would not agree to give her any of it as she had taken most of the money from our joint account. Too bad for her. I talked to my L and I don't have to do anything until the one year separation when my W could file. She has to wait one year to file for D in my state.

Just when I thought my W was beginning to show some small signs of softening and then I get this letter today. Unbelievable!!! My W should win an oscar for her acting ability and she acted so loving the week before she left and then began to be friendlier the past two weeks to me. I don't deserve this treatment. Yes, I was depressed and didn't have a job for two years but I loved my W more than anything. Too bad she doesn"t even give me the chance to make changes and doesn't even want to try counseling. How can she just cut and run without even taking some time to work on her own issues and then give us the opportunity to work on our marriage. What a bunch of BS this is...

I have been busting my a$$ this week painting and getting our house ready to sell. She has done nothing. She emailed me today to say she stopped by the house last night and said the painting looked good. She asked me when I wanted her to come in and clean the house. Went on to talk about some other things we need to do for the house to make it ready for sale. I was thinking that it was a positive email with no R talk, separation or D talk. More light-hearted conversation....maybe more softening. Then I go to my mailbox and bam!...I get this letter. What wonderful timing she has to have her L send me this letter this week when I am working my tail off to fix-up the house. Well, that's it for me for the house. I cancelled the carpet cleaning company scheduled for tomorrow and I will not do anymore work on the house. Right now I don't even care if it gets sold.

My W is supposed to call me tonight as we were going to discuss the house sale. I'm sure she knows I received this letter today. She has unbelievable nerve! I'm sorry but I never did anything to her to deserve this. After 19 years together I think she owes it to our M to at least go to counseling for the purpose of working on M and not for closure.

So now here I am fumning mad and thinking what to do next? Should I talk to my W tonight if she calls and confront her over the letter from L? Should I wait until tomorrow to talk to her? Waiting until tomorrow doesn't really change anything. I want to tell her that she can finish the painting and anything else with the house as I am done. I also want to tell her that I do not want her to contact me until this October when she can file for D...I do not want to hear from her. What a manipulitive person she is now. Who is this person? I don't even want to be married to this person, where did my W go? That's the woman I love(d).

After 4 months I guess maybe the writing is on the wall and this M is over after all. I've been DB, GAL, 180s, counseling, church, met with my priest again today, new job(s), so many good things. None of it must be making any difference to my cold hearted W. How can she not at least give our M another try? Neither one of us was ever unfaithful and I still have not found one bit of evidence of her having any A. So I guess the reason she left was because of my lack of a job and the financial stresses? Ok, that was then, this is now. Much has changed. I strongly believe that I deserve another chance...at least the chance for us to go to counseling together. I beleive what my W is doing is one of the most immature things I have ever seen.

I cannot beleive how upset I am right now. I feel like this is becoming a lost cause. I feel like everything I have been doing for the past 4 months has been nothing but a waste of time for my M. I am such a loving and caring person. Maybe it's time to become someone different...

Sorry for the ling rant. Just feel like this letter from L was a kick in the teeth today. Feel like my small bit of hope from the past two weeks is gone...