Please help with advice and support

[flowmom]

I suggest that you read many threads where infidelity is an issue and see what happens when people do and don't follow the advice to bust the A. I think that when you are dealing with a WAW and you don't have the responsibility of shared children, a very strong response is a good idea. Taking the "nice guy" approach is not going to shock her into re-evaluating her choices. And the longer that you wait, the further things will progress in the A, whether that's physically or emotionally.

It sounds like you're doing a good job on 180s...keep that up.

Here's a book for you:

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
This outlines gender differences in women's and men's needs in marriage. A good place to start when you can't figure out why your spouse was so unhappy that s/he had an A, moved out, etc.