Too Late For Us?

[mrbt]

My question to you is, "is there a timeline on signing the papers?"

No. There isn't any legal reason to sign the MDA right away. I could probably stall for some time if I wanted to.

If you want to stop fighting, I completely understand, I was in a similar place. It was good to for me to stop, it allowed me to move on with no more regrets. I put in all I could, and once I realized it was a losing battle, I agreed and we ended it.

I think I am almost at point.

[rr22]

If you can put it out of your mind, why not wait? Just stop talking to her completely.

[rr22]

I'm suggesting you give up if you want inside of your own mind but don't sign the papers for awhile. You do not owe it to her to do it on her timeline to make it what she wants and easiest on her. Just detach and sit on it if you want.

[rr22]

And stop taking her calls and letting her come over. She's divorcing you. Get her out of your bed. She's not in charge of convincing you when to sign. She sounds manipulative.

[mrbt]

rr22, thank you for your comments. I don't know if she intends to be manipulative but maybe I am just too close to see what is happening. I think, in her mind, we can be best friends post divorce. I don't see this happening and have a hard time turning her away because I know, once the deed is done, its just not going to work. I know our days are numbered and don't want to face it because we are good friends. But, I cannot go from husband to friend. My plan for now is to go on this trip and try to clear my head so I can think more rationally about this.

[rr22]

Good luck on your trip. A few days break clearing your head will do you good!

[mrbt]

So here I am, sitting in a hotel room very far from home. Before I left, w was pressuring me to sign the divorce papers. I told her it would need to wait until I returned. She invited me over for breakfast before I left. All was pleasant, I was very upbeat. She said something like: "judging by your mood, I guess you didn't signed the papers yet." Things got sour after this comment so that is when I left.

Last night, I sent what you might call a "Dear Jane" letter via e-mail. The letter theme of the letter was "I cannot hold you here if you do not want to be with me. You are free to go." This is want she has been asking for right? She wanted me to stop resisting the divorce.

She ignored my txt messages this morning and it took a couple of tries to get her to answer my calls. I talked to her just few minutes ago. She is pissed off about the letter. Hmmm?

[Number 8]

Whoa, mrbt! She's pissed, eh? That is very interesting. What does this mean to you?

I won't interpret what her response may be or what it may mean, but I will say at least her response wasn't indifference.

Keep us posted!

[Vulcanized]

So here I am, sitting in a hotel room very far from home. Before I left, w was pressuring me to sign the divorce papers. I told her it would need to wait until I returned. She invited me over for breakfast before I left. All was pleasant, I was very upbeat. She said something like: "judging by your mood, I guess you didn't signed the papers yet." Things got sour after this comment so that is when I left.

Sounds to me like she is angry b/c you aren't doing what she wants, on her timeline.

Last night, I sent what you might call a "Dear Jane" letter via e-mail. The letter theme of the letter was "I cannot hold you here if you do not want to be with me. You are free to go." This is want she has been asking for right? She wanted me to stop resisting the divorce.

That doesn't sound like you are letting go. The implication sounds like "but if you change your mind, I'll be here waiting". You don't need to tell her she is free to go, she knows this, and has gone.

She ignored my txt messages this morning and it took a couple of tries to get her to answer my calls. I talked to her just few minutes ago. She is pissed off about the letter. Hmmm?

I don't understand why are you making so much effort to contact? You are pursuing, looking for a response. It would have probably been more effective for you to do nothing, and simply waited for her to contact you.

I have to re-read your thread. I'm not clear if you want to stay M or go forward w/D.

[mrbt]

Ruined_No_More, Here are the exact words from the note I sent to W.

I have come to realize that I have been attempting to hold you against your will. This simply cannot be done. You say you want out of our marriage and, obviously I have to let you go.

For me, this was a 180. Up to this point, I have always wanted to save the marriage. This is first time I have said I am ready to let go. I guess, since the D papers are waiting for my signature, I was thinking I had nothing to lose.

As far as me contacting her goes, I agree, it would have been better to go dark. We normally check in with each other via text message. When she didn't reply I assumed she read the note I sent. I was interested in knowing her reaction.