Nice to meet you, but I am sorry it has to be in these circumstances such as what you are facing at this point in time.
OP is correct; what you will need to do is start a brand new thread on your situation; not only posting a highlight; or even several of what you're facing/looking at, so we can see where you are in this.... but also post some things on yourself as you stand at this point in your own journey. And it's OK if you have not started this journey within yet, because of confusion, being at the beginning, etc....We need information to begin to help you, so tell us about yourself.
When your MLC'er/WAS tore your lives apart, he/she(although, I'm assuming you are a lady?) put you on a path that was not of your own making, but it's an opportunity to work on yourself.
No doubt that you're already looking within to see how the journey on you would need to begin/occur.
You're looking for somewhat of a specific direction, and you came to the right place for that.
All of us know what you're going through, as we have walked in your shoes at one time or another.
The confusion is normal, but as we all pitch in and talk this out; hopefully it will help you to clear some of the confusion you're trying to cut through; the people here are very supportive and VERY knowledgeable. There are viewpoints from all across the board; I have found it is helpful to read more than one viewpoint, as what one may miss, another will see...and, honestly, as thorough as I seem to be, I don't see everything.
I will look in later on to see your new post...and give you what I can in the way of feedback.
There is hope, there is ALWAYS hope, and the Lord works in mysterious ways His wonders to behold; He is a very strong influence in my life, as He knows ALL things, I do not.
Above all, take care of yourself, you'll be all right, even if you don't see it at the moment.
Take care.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
