flowmom | shifting from devastated to rebuilding

[flowmom]

Thanks all of you. Gardener, I think you're right...a normal person would assume that there are two sides when a D happens. rr, it helps to remind myself that badmouthing is all about H allieviating his guilt. Kalni, I read a chapter from Passionate Marriage, on working with the self. I like the emphasis on self-soothing. I think that's something that would help me. H4L, yeah, the self-esteem could use a little work.

I guess I probably come off as a total emotional mess. But you guys are helping me to take some positive babysteps for myself so I want you to know that I am a lot better off than I would be without your support. And when I calmly and firmly asked H to not have that conversation, I felt the strength of your support and it helped me to 1. take care of myself by setting a boundary and 2. take care of myself by keeping my dignity and not freaking out.