Why would you want to put yourself through misery by doing nice things for her when she's not wanting them. Why don't you appreciate all that life has to offer, like being less emotionally crazy, to make your daughter as happy as possible? Surely your daughter must pick up on that you're upset or unhappy. Even if you don't say it directly, kids are sharp and they know when their parents aren't feeling right.
Oh she likes my doing nice things for her...but its on her terms and its a one way street. Once she's gotten what she wanted out of me (eg. the time I had to drive across town in January to get the car seat our of her car) then I may get a curt "thanks", and then I'm kicked to the curb.
Originally Posted By: knittedscarff
Why don't you let your guard down and stop pretending that you don't want anything to do with her and pissed off at her low morals or whatever else is floating around your head. Let your guard down and admit that you miss her. Take time to grieve for it. It's a significant loss, but one you can get over. But you won't even begin to get over it until you admit you lost her.
Oh no...I fully admit I miss her and still have feelings for her. If I didnt...anything she did or said would be of no consequence to me and cause no reaction by me whatsoever.
Originally Posted By: knittedscarff
Also, do you understand that you are, essentially, the Other Man as well. if she's living with her boyfriend, she's cheating on him, with you. There's no reason for you to put air in her tires, thats her job or his job. Her car has nothing to do with you or your daughter.
Don't you think you are worth enough for one person to be committed too? It's certainly not the situation you have going on now.
yeah I kinda wondered about that too. they arent living together...thank goodness. but some of the things I've done for and with her over the past couple of months, while non-intimate in nature, arent necessarily stuff one would normally have their ex do or do with their ex.
And its probably just a little mind game she's playing so I'll be available for help/favors in the future...but she refuses to flat out say that we are done for good and will never be together again...and if someone was giving me stress like she claims I am doing to her, I know I wouldnt hesistate to say it. it's always "we're done for now" or "this is how things are, for now". Even this morning she was like "after all the names have been called one day isnt gonna make things all better...it's gonna take a lot more than that and I cant make any promises".
If she cant see how saying stuff like that can hold someone back and mess with someones head/emotions...shes more blind than Ray Charles.
Originally Posted By: maynard2121
And when you do interact- keep it light and fun; like you could care less of who you were spending your time w/
and thats kind of what I was doing yesterday up until she decided to get in that jab about not mistaking our time together to mean anything. I mean...there was no need to point that out. Its not as if I came home and said "ok we spent the day together...now everything is wonderful. lets start making wedding plans". The conversation between us never went beyond D3 stuff and casual talk that people would have with a co-worker. As I said I hadnt planned on spending the day with her and I only gave the R a thought when she took that jab. I was just enjoying the moment. It was like the Charlie Brown cartoon where he's gonna kick the football and Lucy yanks it out of the way at the last minute.
The conversation between us never went beyond D3 stuff and casual talk that people would have with a co-worker. As I said I hadnt planned on spending the day with her and I only gave the R a thought when she took that jab. I was just enjoying the moment. It was like the Charlie Brown cartoon where he's gonna kick the football and Lucy yanks it out of the way at the last minute.