Checking in

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Few things,

STOP calling yourself a doormat. You aren't a doormat. Doormats don't have a choice, you do.

the Hope-0-Meter starts to climb... then the withdrawl occurs... then the Hope-o-Meter crashes into the red zone.

Your Hope-O-Meter is broken.
It fills up with good contact.

Withdrawal shouldn't drain it, it should stay where it was last at. When your car is parked it doesn't run out of fuel.

Bad contact drains it.

Although there is an inherient problem with your Hope-O-Meter, do you know what it is?



What happens when your Hope-O-Meter gets filled up? What do you do then eager man? Just curious.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
- Emily Dickinson

In your soul, NOT on your sleeve. Protected.

Bradley,

If you have to opportunity, go rent/watch Doc Hollywood...yeah it is cheesy, but you know what? It is a feel good movie about priorities.

how do I detatch when it seems she wont let me go?

I need your definition of dettaching, what do you think it means?

Because I think that might be part of the problem.

Dettaching to me doesn't mean not talking to them, it means not getting emotional with them, not letting your buttons get pushed.

But I'd still like yours.

yet all signs point to the fact that she wants no part of me.

wait a second...

hold on...

She says she does not want a divorce. Even today she called me to talk about three marriage counselors that she thinks could be good

and ummm...just a moment...

then she starts to talk about things like "I'm starting to believe in you". "do you really think you can change?"...

annnnnnnd...

and she has been apologizing today about it...which is a first

Bradley,

You're a big fat lying liar!


OR you have the attention span of a hamster on crack.

either way you should know I am joking with you. (see guys? No Bear AND I ate a ton of skittles today...inside joke)

except for money.

Get a newspaper.

Roll it up.

Smack yourself on the nose.

Repeat.


Man overall, she just sounds either today whacked out of her mind, psychopath, and YOU should have see this side of her a LOOOOOOOONG time ago...or confused.

And what does confusion tell you?

See I see a confused woman.
I see a woman who doesn't trust in your changes...
And no offense neither do I.
Not yet.

I want too, and I think you are capable, but changes are not overnight. They do not happen because you WILL them to.
They happen because you make them over time, consistency and dedication.

And she needs to see that in order to trust you El Wood.

Screwed up?

Maybe, but despite the MLC...it is still true.