*Personally, I'm partial to shrieking and sobbing it out into a bunched up towel so as not to scare the neighbors.
I did that for a long time last night. Just have to control myself during the day for the children.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
FM:H is very convincing...he even convinces me that I've been a misery to be married to frown .
There's a difference between owning your part and making a sincere offer to fix it and drinking the tainted water from his well.
They attack on the way out to alleviate their guilt for being unwilling to work on their end of things and try. If you're NOT a demon (and supposedly a ball and chain to have lived with), then he's a failure as a husband (emasculating notion) and as a father (moral failure). Guess what's easier to accept? That you're a demon. It's this AND the black and white depression thinking.
If you were so bad and all the things he is insinuating were so true, he would not have married you and stayed with you so long in the first place. He has had the money and the two feet to walk with since year one of your R.
It's rewriting history, editing memories and demonizing. All script and to be expected. Make yourself a nice mental/emotional "spew coat" to wear when he spews
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Yeah, sorry for the feeling of "not getting to tell my side!" That does suck. But you will have to go with the knowledge in your own heart that you did OK; you aren't a demon, etc. The people who really need to know that, know that.
r22 is right.
meetup.com is good.
Glad to know I am not the only one who does the screaming into the towel trick. I actually NEED at least a hand towel for all the moisture, and the bath towel is better for some of that "blanky" comfort.
I know I have 2x4s coming for this and I don't care.
This morning H's coach sent him a "Love is in the air" cutesy heart thingy with a note that I couldn't read.
Last edited by flowmom; 03/04/1006:19 PM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I know I have 2x4s coming for this and I don't care.
I LOVE YOUR HONESTY!
Also....check the alt
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Only you can decide how far you will allow yourself to go.
You might consider not looking at your H's FB page for 48 hours. It really is doing you no good.
You are aware that right now your H is not invested in the marriage or is willing to work on things. You have long thought *something* might be brewing on the side. Looking at pics of what it might (or might not be) really won't help you detach.
Honestly, isn't your H in his 40's? It all sounds incredibly silly and immature to me that a grown man would want all these high school'ish comments on a FB page.
It' kind of odd that your H can't sleep and needs elaborate meals to ward off his health issues but can participate in such a heavy duty sport with a coach, no?
