Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

So what phrase can I say if he asks me to do something (I don't have a clue what) after I already said the above????help please!

If he asks you to do anything, after you've offered, you can only do it. Within reason of course. Otherwise what was the point in offering.

Remember, people say all the time 'if I can do anything please let me know' - it's being polite. However, saying you will be thinking of him is just politeness.

None of us is asking you to be heartless, cold or anything else that would change who you are. What we are all saying is that this is a perfect opportunity for H to realise what he has lost. While you are there offering to be around, being helpful, giving him time with S etc. then he will not realise this. You need to pull the rug from underneath him. This is a perfect opportunity to do this. However cruel, heartless and cold it sounds, he started this game. You are only playing by the rules HE LAID DOWN. You need to win the game, either to win yourself back or him. Either way, you need to win.

My advice is to stay away from the hospital unless he asks otherwise. Let him deal with this with, or without OW, on his own. He is a big boy. He can handle it. Remember they are simply doing a standard procedure, a biopsy. They would do the same procedure with me, your dad, my dad, CB etc. etc.

I think this is also a perfect time for you to evaluate how far several months of DBing has taken you.

I also hate to say this but you need to ACCEPT that he is with OW. The quicker you accept this, the quicker you can detach. I hate to say, it's clear to me, you haven't.

Tough Love.