how do i keep my hope alive?

[talia]

OTM - Attacking people on here is not the point and is immature at best. My advice follows what we learned from the book. If yours did - I wouldn't' have a problem with you. Your advice goes directly against what the book recommends and that's not the point of these boards. You may not like my advice, but it falls right in line with what Divorce Remedy recommends. If you want to give your own relationship advice - perhaps you should create your own forum.
You again have missed the point of my communications. CAPS denote emphasis is blogging - not YELLING. Perhaps you should also read up on internet etiquette when it comes to blogging.

[talia]

TTA -
I'M SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!! You are getting the results you WANT - Pat yourself on the back!!! H acknowledging how strong you are is a HUGE success. You should feel amazing going into your trip!


(((TTA)))

T

[Onthemountaintop]

Wow - you just can't see your words.

So, so sad.

[CityGirl]

I kind of think marriage has to be about the individual first. Two unhealthy individuals can't have a healthy marriage. Wouldn't BOTH individuals have to be healthy in order to create and maintain a healthy union?

[talia]

^^^^^^^ Wise Observation City Girl^^^^^^

[chatterbug]

Wow - you just can't see your words.

So, so sad.

This was rude. I hope you apologize for this post. Very poor taste.

I posted this in T's thread but will post it here as well

Talia there is no such thing as bad advice here. We all post advice. Its up to the individual to determine what course they wish to follow. Some of it we agree with. Some we do not.

This is a good chance for you to practice some of that DB stuff with OTM.

Validate and move on.

Both of you have your hearts in the right place.

[blownaway65]

TTA, I haven't read your thread yet, but I just want to add to what CB said - and he is a man I have an enormous amount of respect for.

AFAIK none of the people on the boards has any formal qualification in Relationship or any other type of Counselling.

Everyone will offer advice - and it WILL differ and it WILL be based on what works or doesn't from their perspective.

There is no right or wrong - and at the end of the day it's up to you. I'd like to think that we all all good people on the boards. We are the ones who care enough to want to save our R's.

Listen to what everyone advises, but DO what works for you.

[trytryagain]

I kind of think marriage has to be about the individual first. Two unhealthy individuals can't have a healthy marriage. Wouldn't BOTH individuals have to be healthy in order to create and maintain a healthy union?

i agree, city girl! thanks for the thoughtful words. i'm working on being the healthiest me i can be...maybe my H will get to a healthy point where he can work on our M, maybe he won't, i don't know. but right now, my health (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual) is my focus and all i can do is pray that my H gets to a better place...not just for the sake of our M but for his overall well being. i hate seeing him in such a low place, with or without me!

[trytryagain]

talia and everyone else...i SO appreciate that you all want to look out for me and want only the best advice to come through on my (and anyone else's!) thread! i can't tell you how great it feels to have so many people i've never even met looking out for me and standing behind me! i wouldn't say OTM has offered me any bad advice, because it's all been genuine and from his heart - whether or not it followed MWD's outline or not. but like blownaway said, how i use the advice is up to me. and like someone said to me on my thread before (i'm sorry i don't remember who!), we all take the advice we get here and tailor it to suit our own situations and needs. i appreciate ALL the advice i get here, even the advice i don't take.

so keep the advice coming, and thanks to everyone who came over from talia's thread to offer their two cents!

[talia]

TTA,
I'm glad you will get some more perspective. I hope everyone understands what I'm trying to do. Empowering advice is good for everyone on here!!! We are all here because of the book and its important to stick in that realm - its what works!!!

I hope from this you will get more than just two people perspective's on your thread - the more the better!!

I'll do what I can to keep help coming your way - I would have given anything to have this kind of help this early in my situation!!!

Keep doing what works - its working for you!!

(((TTA)))

T