Your question has been very constructive, providing insight from each side.
I read about being able to revert back to my maiden name at the time of divorce, but it was never discussed with my lawyer. When the judge asked, I made the decision.. and did feel a bit of annoyance from my former spouse.
Caring about his feelings caused a nidge of hesitation but my needs and minimizing confusion for the kids was far greater.
I don't think it matters if a couple has kids or not when it comes to changing the name. And just like only women can experience childbirth, so can only men know the betrayal of how their last name is handled in divorce.
If I had no choice, I'd feel like chattel, a second class citizen... and really pissed.
