It's clear my W is sick: Bi-polar, Alcoholic, depressed. I took a vow of marriage, for better or for worse. Divorce is a problem for me.
Awoken. I completely understand your problem with divorce. I have - had - the same problem. But any therapist you see, any book you read, any "guru" you listen to to will say up front that if any of the A's are present: Addiction, Adultery, Abuse, that must be taken care of first, then you can try to save marriage, listen to guru's advice, apply book's principals.
I believe that is why so many on these boards dealing with adultery try to bust the affair before busting the divorce (kick to curb, boundaries, exposing it, etc.).
Your A will have to be addressed and eliminated first or you are either going to bust your divorce and wind up hurting yourself and your boys by the alcoholism anyway or not be able to bust your divorce at all.
Just my opinion. I'd defer to anything IC is telling you.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
