He used to always do or try to do the right thing.
I ended up texting him "speeding ticket?". He called me this morning in response to it and was in one of his moods. I asked him why he didn't tell me about the ticket and he said that we had bigger things going on and didn't think the 4 pt speeding ticket was all that important. (which he got on the way home from OW house)
I then asked if he spoke to OW. He told me that the OW texted him last night to see if he was OK. He told me that he didn't respond to her and does not intend on responding to her. He told me that he thinks of the following as 2 separate things: 1) He is ending his affair because it is not what he wants and it is no good 2) He has decided to commit to his marriage because that is what he should have been doing all along and try to make it work.
I asked him if he thinks she is going to leave her job. He said that she will not run just because she is hurt. He then asked "you can understand that right"...I responded..she messed with a married man- did she not expect to get hurt. He responded..she loves me..this is hard for her but she has a family to support. I said "she has done this before..did she not know what she was getting herself into?". He responded with "I am not going to discuss this further with you..I havent had my coffee".
I asked him if he feels remorse about his affair..and the response I got was ..sometimes I do (angry tone). "I don't when you question me about a stupid speeding ticket." This is the attitude that I do not want to deal with. My blood is boiling. He then proceeded to say that he was going to go now..because he hasn't had his coffee and wants to eat his bagel. He told me to say goodbye so he didn't have to just hang up. I hung up instead.
How do we even start to rebuild when he is still licking his wounds and being a complete jerk? I need to change the dynamic here. I don't want to be the person he is just coming back to because it is the right thing to do.
