I pretty much told her that...and that it was ok to let ones guard down now and then...that you never know what you might be missing out on keeping your guard up. I then told her it was hard for me to think all was well when she kept bringing up that is wasnt. I told her that if something just doesnt happen its one thing, but to deliberately block it from happening when one is enjoying onesself seems to be depriving one of all that life has to offer.
Why would she take your advice when you won't take your own?
She doesn't have her guard up, like you think. She's not secretly pining for you, wishing she were with you, hoping that things would work out. If she did have those feelings SHE WOULD BE WITH YOU AND NOT THE OTHER MAN....THIS VERY MINUTE.
She's telling you that she doesn't want to be you. You have the text in black and white not to get used to it. She's being clear as day.
But you on the other hand, either can't or won't accept this. I know you won't listen to this advice bc you haven't listened to anyone else in the past 20 pgs of help on this thread, but all the same. Take your own advice.
Why would you want to put yourself through misery by doing nice things for her when she's not wanting them. Why don't you appreciate all that life has to offer, like being less emotionally crazy, to make your daughter as happy as possible? Surely your daughter must pick up on that you're upset or unhappy. Even if you don't say it directly, kids are sharp and they know when their parents aren't feeling right.
Why don't you let your guard down and stop pretending that you don't want anything to do with her and pissed off at her low morals or whatever else is floating around your head. Let your guard down and admit that you miss her. Take time to grieve for it. It's a significant loss, but one you can get over. But you won't even begin to get over it until you admit you lost her.
For the record, she's gone. She is your EX.
Life is wonderful, there are so many people who would be good to you, and I don't mean in a romantic way. Why focus on a woman who is draining your soul instead of finding positive people to share your interests, like being part of a hobby group or working out at the gym?
Also, do you understand that you are, essentially, the Other Man as well. if she's living with her boyfriend, she's cheating on him, with you. There's no reason for you to put air in her tires, thats her job or his job. Her car has nothing to do with you or your daughter.
Don't you think you are worth enough for one person to be committed too? It's certainly not the situation you have going on now.
Read what you wrote. Don't expect your ex to do something that you yourself won't.
