How am I making this easy for him? My intention is to let him know who my L is and be consistent that this is not what I want. He can contact the L and be told that she won't do anything until he files.

I know I'm emotional. Please explain what you mean by interjecting my thoughts.....guilt.....

Yes he will be angry---he is no matter what. I've fought that battle for a long time-----bending over backwards to try to make this all work and keep him happy with the "situation." I know it doesn't work. I know that I've lost that battle and am doing my best to work on me. I have made progress, that doesn't show here---especially at times like this.

It always affects me emotionally in some way when I see his anger. I am most affected today by knowing that I need to send something, and not send what I want to send. I am also compelled to call him and tell him this instead.

This is also the 5th anniversary of my father's death, and one of the most stressful weeks of the year that I have preparing my kids for competition this Saturday----and he will be there.


Me 45
M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08
D 18, D 14, S 12