Holy Crap! Didn't expect THIS!

[Trixi]

I have to say, if he had been ice cold towards me, I couldn't have stuck it out.

The thing that has kept me hooked is the look on his face when he sees me if we haven't seen each other for awhile. His whole face lights up.

He shared more tonight about "how hard" he "tried to get away". Apparently, he had decided that the only way he would be able to fully leave me was to find someone new. So, he would go out on a couple dates and for some reason or another it just wouldn't go any further. Then one of these dates said to him that it doesn't matter what kind of success you have in life; what matters is the people that you love. And that struck a chord with him. Huh Well, *I* had said that before (which I mentioned) and he said "yeah, but I couldn't hear it from you." Unfortunately, his revelation about trying to find someone to help him get away from me ticked me off. I said that I felt mad and that was just lame. Lame lame lame. At the time, I couldn't articulate WHY it felt lame, but now that I've had time to digest it-- it seems weak and...well, LAME! (heh- I guess I still don't know how to explain that better.)

He said that he is "in it to win it" and for once he is going to give us a real chance. He wasn't ready when we went to retro. He apologized for being sh!tty to me and he is letting go of the grass is greener thing because it isn't. He is scared; knows I'm scared, but also knows there is no way to make this work and be half in/half out.