How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

Here is a link to my story
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1949792#Post1949792

I never just her in the past due to my insecurities. She was a wonderful girl who I just treated so badly. So when I knew she made these phone calls I was upset yes, but I felt that if I confronted her about them that she would feel that I could not trust her and therefore the cycle would continue. So I wanted to show her I do trust her and that the BS of the past is over.


UPDATE:
She did eventually come home and refused to talk about the situation. She told me she "would do whatever she wants when ever she wants" I use to be a controlling person so I did not say anything. I asked her "Why did you feel the need to lie to me" she did not say anything. She was more upset about the fact I called off of work. I told her I was concerned about her and she said "I can take care of myself" I then said "I am not sure what is going on here, I have been nothing but kind to you and take care of you showing you that our relationship can indeed be better" she said "I would have left already but I am co-owner of this house and I have nowhere else to go right now, I am just trying to co-exist, people keep telling me I need to get out of this situation" I said "these people you think you can trust are saying things about you and eventually they get back to me, I care for you and don't want to see you go through this" She then asked me to explain, so I gave her some samples of what I heard.

She put her hair up and put some chap stick on and told me that this marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper and that there is nothing I can do to make up for all the wrong I done.

I expressed I understood why she would say that but know I still care about this marriage. She then walked back down stairs grabbed her purse and walked out the door. Said she needed to get away (after already being gone for 4 hours) then she once again left.

I gave her time to cool off and eventually txt her that she should return home. She said that she would in a little bit and that I should had just gone to work.

as I type this she just walked back in the door...after being gone for nearly 2 hours.