Everything I'm reading on you looks SO familiar, and similar to what I endured with my husband...

My husband threw a tantrum on his way out of Withdrawal; he did NOT like the changes I had effected, and was pressuring me to "go back", he didn't want to tell the truth about things, and he threatened to leave, amongst other things, if I didn't "do right" and "shut up"

He screamed and yelled, and threw things, was literally out of control to the point I was literally quaking inside.
But still I stayed calm, and didn't yell back.

He threatened to withdraw all love from me, I told him I still loved him. He threatened to never hug or kiss me again, and I told him I still loved him. He threatened to totally withdraw himself from me, and I told him I still loved him....and still he kept drama going, and I still didn't budge.
I STILL loved him and told him so..and THAT made him even madder.

He was picking the "fights"..I wasn't fighting, in fact calmly invited him to leave if that was what he wanted to do, but I wasn't throwing him out.

The old me would have been crying and begging, the new me wasn't doing a thing except dealing with him calmly, and it made him MADDER.

Even to the point he spent ONE night on the couch; and broke down completely the next morning, gathering me in a great big hug.

The storm lasted over a week for him. I do NOT know how long it will last for you.

I just know it will break, and you'll see a change..but you must stand firm.

Reading your situtation, brought that memory back so strongly, and I recognized what your wife was/is doing.

She HATES the changes you have made, you have become a stranger to her; and so she is using everything and anything to "make" you go back to what you were to continue to justify her actions toward you.

It's like they WANT to stay where they are, and it takes the "sane" spouse to bring them forward.

The pattern is eerily clear to me. Stand your ground, this will pass.

Stand your ground, she WILL change.

Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.