How to approach W about OM

[Allen A]

I knew all along that she was seeking "advice" from a guy at work.
Then I was told by a friend of mine who is also a co-work that they talk all the time. I seen the phone records while trying to figure out why phone bill was so high that the two talked quite often.

Why would you let her go to this guy for advice? He isn't a therapist... if you are gonig to PAY for her to get help, send her to a professional Family Therapist...

I inquired to my friend she worked with from his perspective how does it look. He said he does not think anything is going on other than they are good friends. He went on to say this guy is just being himself and she is always talking to him and walking up to him.

"Good friends".. ya right... Is your friend WAITNG for soemthing to be gonig on before he decides to tell you to get your arse into work and run damage control?

According to my friend this OM is 10 years older than her and is married (not happily) has 2 children. He is very obnoxious and is borderline alcoholic. Everything my wife despises. So I was OK if they talked over the phone, I was in no position to approach her about it anyway since we are having such issues.

Hold it... let me type this out again for you :

A. This OM is married (not happily) ... very obnoxious and is borderline alcoholic.
B. I was OK if they talked over the phone.

Now, call me crazy, but I don't follow your logic here...

My worry is for you OIN, you see, you are going to let her walk all OVER you for months... I can read it in your post here... you NEED to get your head out of that mindset and learn you are dealing with a VERY ADDICTIVE AFFAIR...

Your wife needs a husband, and husbands do NOT let their wives walk all over them, nor should a wife let her husband walk all over her...

You need to muscle down here and assert some boundaries.. FAST... This post worries me a lot... not just from the affair, but your current disposition in reacting to it... I am worried you are going to go through the ringer over this woman for a LONG time and this affair sounds early on.. you CAN put a STOP to this EARLY, but you need to muscle down and get tough.. OK?