seperated a year

[hanging in there]

Chatterbug, My daughter is definatly my hero. She went through so much at such a young age and is amazing.

Onthemountaintop, I'm positive that the R he has with her is more than friendship, by the texts I have read and after speaking to her a year ago. Even though I'm also sure nothing more than an EA will ever come of it, it still hurts. I have never shut him out. The funny thing was after going through with our daughter's health issue I realised we were growing apart and stepped up my efforts to reconnect with him.

This is about the time that he started contacting her and pushing me away. When he would come over in the beginning it was always a short visit in the evening after *pm or so to either drop off a movie, see if anyone else (male) was over or pick a fight and tell me how awful of a person I was. All of this I'm sure was out of hurt, anger and fear. The same emotions I have been feeling. Never has he made an effort to move back in.

To be honest no I don't think I would be okay with him just talking to someone who he told he was divorced and had her believing he was going to drive 5 hours to meet. If he wants the relationship to work why would he still need to contact her until he was satisified that we were going to make it. Seems like it would be a plan B for him.

I have made it clear to him more than once that i want to work on my marriage, thats was part of the big meltdown Sat when i poured my heart out to him. As far as going dark, its hard to be the only one making all the contact. Then hearing about his life and all the things going on for him without so much of a how are you or the girls doing. Thats why I want to go NC to see if he will reach out to me. I dont plan on not replying to him at all but will not be so eager to return every text anymore.

Sorry if I come across harsh but I'm to the point something has got to give, can't keep going on like this. I still love him very much but need to know he thinks of me to and if I am constantly making contact he will never get space to think.

Dang I wish this wasn't so hard and felt like a game of one up manship or a power struggle