I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Quart9]

I don't understand the power struggle? I have done my best not to pay attention to her and will continue to do so. She makes it easy because she has not been in contact with me for a while now. Everything I am getting from her says she is done, she has detached from me, and she herself has moved on and considers our marriage over. She is just making no effort to get the D.

To grow I have been trying to fix my two biggest issues: low self confidence and codependency.

The things that I have done to get right:
-I've been going to an IC to work through my issues and my feelings about the end of our marriage
-I've been creating a better relationship with God. I've gone back to church, I've been reading the Bible, and started praying regularly
-I've done my best to GAL when I have time. I've reunited with some of my old friends and made several new friends
-I've become more active at school by talking and interacting more with people there and seeking out help from upperclassmen
-I've started a self help program on toolstolife.com and I'm learning and doing exercises from there to boost my confidence and morale
-I've been lifting weights and eating healthier
-I've been talking with my family more (I have kinda neglected for the past few years)

I am tired of limbo land Mr Bond. When we were exchanging texts yesterday I never indicated I wanted to reconcile or get back together with her. I made it very clear to her that I did not sign up to be in an open marriage. The things that I am working on I'm doing for me. If she is not around and we are not communicating then she won't see the changes I making so it seems our dynamic won't really change.