How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

For the past month, since my wife announce she wanted to separate due to my behavior. I have done everything possible so I could become a better person and an even greater husband. After much rejection from her toward me and the idea of continuing the relationship, I then began the LRT. For the past week I have followed the LRT and things seemed to get better between us when it came to communication.

I knew all along that she was seeking "advice" from a guy at work. Then I was told by a friend of mine who is also a co-work that they talk all the time. I seen the phone records while trying to figure out why phone bill was so high that the two talked quite often. She openly said she did speak with him and there was nothing to it that I could trust her. She never said when or how often she spoke to him on the phone. One day the OM W calls my wife and starts yelling at her for carrying on conversations with her H. My wife told me she told the W that there is nothing going on she was only seeking advice and there was no "hidden agenda." My wife told me about that call. I told my wife it was probably not a good idea to continue the calls if his W threatened to hurt you ect. I thought my wife understood but she did not stop.

I inquired to my friend she worked with from his perspective how does it look. He said he does not think anything is going on other than they are good friends. He went on to say this guy is just being himself and she is always talking to him and walking up to him.

According to my friend this OM is 10 years older than her and is married (not happily) has 2 children. He is very obnoxious and is borderline alcoholic. Everything my wife despises. So I was OK if they talked over the phone, I was in no position to approach her about it anyway since we are having such issues.

Today My wife, spontaneously, said she was going to visit her father. Got all dolled up and left. Usually she would txt me to let me know when had arrived there but she did not. It was taking an extra long time. I was concerned for her well being so I called her. She said she was not there yet that there was a lot of traffic and she will let me know when she gets there. It was very quite in the background. I asked where about was she and she simply replied "I will let you know when I am there and hung up." About 15 min later she txt me she was there. It took her 55 min to get there when it is normally a 20 min trip.

Later I called but she failed to answer. I had to pass a message on to her. So I called her father's phone so he could let her know but there was no answer. So I called her father's GF so she can pass on the message. Turned out her father was there so I spoke with him and he said he did not know she was suppose to be out there that he was sleeping and I had just woke him up.

I txt her and asked her to call that it was important. She did call but seemed to have more than an attitude than usual. I told her what I had to say. The proceeded to ask "how is it going?" she said she was just standing there talking to her father which I knew was a lie. So I asked "when do you think you'll be home" she said "I am not sure I will let you know" I said is a pleasant voice "maybe you should come home now" she said "I will come home when I am ready" I then calmly told her "I know you are not with your father because I tried to pass a message on to you and he said you were not there and he did not expect you." She said "Go worry about the other issue" I said "I am worried about you, my wife" she said again "go worry about the other issue" and I repeated what I said, then she hung up.

I sent her a txt message letting her know I am not upset, that I trust her, to be careful and return home safe and that I was heading out to work. She has not said anything in return and has yet to come home.

I am concerned for her safety.