No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[MrBond]

She doesn't go to church although my D says that she's been reading the book "Jesus Speaks" which is a book of daily affirmations. So I think she's searching for something, but it would be alot better if she had a mentor to guide her along the way. I think if her mom or sister told her to get her butt in gear and save her M, she might do something, but who knows.

In terms of the A, I'm not necessarily bothered by what happened, but I am worried about what could still be happening. I mean this guy spent 2 years trying to get me and I had no clue. I don't think he's stopped either since I called him out on his bluff. It's that stuff that I'm worried about. And I'm worried about him doing something to my W.

Even after all this, I'm sure she still "trusts" him not to do anything to her.

I have been thinking about inviting her to go to Mass, that was one of the things I've been pondering.

I hear you about trying to make it all about the kids when we talk, and it was like that for awhile. I wanted to take it to the next level and get her to talk about herself for a bit, so that's when I started asking her about her day, etc. She has been opening up more, so that's a good thing.

The other thing different I've been doing is denying that she is a "victim". She played that card in the beginning and I accepted all the blame. That definitely didn't help. So I decided to "man up" a bit and got a better response.

To a certain degree I've been trying to think like the OM in terms of what I felt he gave her that she didnt' think she was getting from me. This is just to store in the back of my mind in case a chance for me to use it comes up.

I wasn't planning to go on about her, but what the heck. I think she's got some heavy self-esteem issues. Then the one time she speaks up (came up when she said she wanted to leave) and acted assertive, impulsive, etc., it's to commit adultery. Now all this crap has come up to the surface and I think she's embarassed. But rather than face it, she runs away from it and doesn't acknowledge it.

Well I guess I bring it up because I was the hurt party, not just once, but it's like an ongoing nightmare. Sometimes I feel like I'm being constantly punished for what she did and for once I'd like the bad karma to hit her rather than me.