Choc, How are ya buddy? I presume this means you are still married.
your observations are pretty much the same as mine. I haven't really seen many lasting 'successes' at all, and even the ones that did last the spouse did not end up wanting exactly the same thing. If however you generalize what you want to something like "happiness in my marriage" then, yes most of the time both spouses want the same. Their visions of what that entails may be very different things though.
That said, MrsGGB has changed over the past few years. She's become more willing sexually even though the desire doesn't seem to be there. She's also become a quite a bit accepting of more than just missionary PIV sex. I think those changes have mostly come about my stating that I am unhappy with our M. She too has been unhappy about the M, and I think our biggest sticking point is not knowing how to get it unstuck and make it fun again.
So I disagree as to not getting results. But at the same time, the results you get will likely not be the ones that you think you want. I can't change her views on sex, etc any more than she can change mine. What I think I can change is my half of the relationship and therefore change the environment to make a happy marriage more probable.
