Having a tough night. Anger and sadness. Sounds like a blues tune, doesn't it?
My L sent me mediation dates my STBXW's L provided as available dates. Just seeing those dates in black and white, having L's involved, and the finality of it all got to me. Sadness at first. Then just anger. Anger she can just do this without hesitation, this damage she is going to do to the kids. Dammit. Just, dammit. So mind numbingly selfish. I can't even look at her.
I am so trying not to hate her right now, but it is VERY, VERY hard. I don't want that burden but don't seem to be able to shake it or let it go.
I am in control of my emotions, or at least the way I react to them. But, God, I just want to scream at her and ask her WHAT THE HE!! ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE IS SO AWFUL THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT ME AND THE KIDS THROUGH THIS HE!!? I understand the WAS thinking, but I will NEVER "get it."
