It was very hard for me to reach a place where I could tell a LBH that he should tell his children that their mother had an affair. It was so hard on me b/c I knew how it felt to be in the mother's shoes. But, I'll have to tell you that if your children are old enough to ask questions about it, then you need to be as truthful as possible without completely destroying their mother.....if that makes any sense. A mother who is having an affair is going to hurt herself without any help from the dad, so he doesn't have to call her names or tell the kids what a bad mother she is (not that you would....just an example).
I do believe that the LBS should be very careful how they tell their children what has happen....and especially young children. I'm not saying to cover up the truth, but handle it carefully.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
