I just realized that today it has been 3 months since my H moved out. That changes a mood really fast )-:
It's been exactly 2 months for me...feeling pretty sad about it too.
If you come over to my thread you can see how I've been working on the detachment stuff...it's really hard but it's a way to do something for ourselves in a situation that we have little control over, except the ability to make things worse.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Find a thread, the one above is VERY good... and 4luv you can do this too, it would be good for you.
Find a thread of a MAN who is loving twoards his wife who is having an affair and being very forceful...
I want you both to talk to him and teach him to get forceful with his wife, give him all the advice he needs to hear.
YOU TWO will SEE yoruselves in his post and you will LEARN the changes YOU TWO need to make in yoru own affairs from him... its a great exercise...
It will help a LOT if you try this out, I can guarantee it will be an eye opener for you...
I notice women more often seem to be posting to women's threads where the Husband is cheating, and men seem to more often post to men's threads where the female is cheating.
I honeslty think there's more to be LEARNED from reading posts from men about their wives cheating, and the reverse...
I am going to reccomend you two do that... the thread above is a very good example.
The reason for my suggesting the opposite sex as practice?
You will see your husband in the female's thread, you will sympathize on the man who is cheating and go easier on him...
With a female, the liklihood you will identify is much slimmer... So you will be more objective about it, and encourage the poster to be a LOT mroe assertive... you will be teaching youselves as you advise... I strongly reccomend it.
I lost my lover and my best friend. I am wondering if I will ever recover. I am lost like I'm floating thru space with no light and I don't know if turning around will help. I feel like there is no hope and I don't want you to think I can ever be the same person. I have changed. I need u to think why you would want this when you are above this. I don't like making u feel unloved but my heart is dark and sad. I felt it crush and lost all my soul. I truly don't know if I can recover. The problem with loving someone with all your heart is when they break it there is nothing left. I don't send u this to upset u. I just hate seeing u hurt and don't think u get my pain. I don't know how to work this out with out hurting u. And 4 that I'm sorry.
What the hell do I do with this one?
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Allen, That was my first impression too. He wants me to let go so he doesn't have too. I have held my emotions in check everyday for the last week. And I have seen him almost everyday. I've been happy upbeat, and have stopped him from baiting me. I think it is making him feel worse because I'm not crying in front of him or trying to talk R with it all. Just going about my business, laughing, and enjoying life (fake of course).
After the email he has tried to call me 3 times and one message said "I don't want you take that email the wrong way, I'm just trying to explain to you how I feel". When I didn't answer he texted me "I still love you"
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
