Where in the world did that come from !!!

[blownaway65]

Shows how much I know !

Had a fantastic session with IC yesterday. We came to the conclusion that I have to be able to confront and deal with "bad stuff" rather than pushing it down and not dealing with it, because the outcome is usually way less bad than what I'm imagining it will be.

Once I "Got it", my last post became not about Me & the kids or Me and W. Just about Me. Rather than dealing with why I felt guilty, I've been doing everything else but what I should be doing.

So one of the "bad stuff" things I hadn't been dealing with was W & Me being able to be friends after all this is over, not friends as in 'Let's get a coffee' friends, but at least to be able to talk together in a civil manner. Like it or not, we are the kids parents together, we own a house together and over the next 3 years at least we will have to have interactions about kids, House, Finances etc. It would be way better to be able to do those things in a friendly manner rather than glaring at each other across a table, both filled with spite and vemon for the other.

So till now my method of dealing with it (and W's too) has been to completely ignore each other and just pretend that it's not there.

I had to drop S17 off at W's place last night, so I bit the bullet and brought the whole thing into the open with her.

Only took 5 minutes, I said that I was sorry we had finished up the way we had, that I didn't love her anymore but am happy that she is happy and that it was important to me that we could remain friends, but that I would understand if she couldn't get to that place.

Honestly at the end of the day I'm not so fussed if she can't do that - because I know I can, It was a really good way for me to 'face my demons' and not run from them.

Each and every day that goes by I can see myself growing into a more complete person and I like the opportunities that opens up for me. I also realize it's important that the kids are able to see that because like it or not, they will take a fair piece of me & W into their adult years. I don't want what they take from dad to be where I was months ago but rather where I am getting to .