I confirmed that she does not want to move toward divorce and she wants the opportunity to be free.
She basically confirmed that this is all her choice and everything that is happening is by her design, she is in control and you get to just stand there (or lie there) and take it like a man LOL!
1. She doesn't want a divorce. 2. She wants the opportunity to be free.
I'm using your words here but I'm going to prove my point.
She doesn't want the divorce just in case things don't work out with her living on her own and her relationship with the OM fizzles out. She doesn't want the divorce because if her fantasy fails, she'll have the safety net backup option that the supplicating beta-male (you) currently provide her with.
Switch it up.
"You're right I don't want a divorce either but if this is going to be 2 years of a free ride for you, I think I might as well make it a free ride for me too. If it's ok for you to be free and pursue other men, then I feel no need to maintain a commitment to you - I'll be free as well."
And then start dating.
Literally.
Be a good man. Don't be mean, or an a$$hole or a prick to her, just let her go because truth be told, she's gone, you're holding on to an idea, a shadow of what she once was, history, memories, etc.
Be a good father to your kids.
And be a great man for you, first & foremost - enjoy your life, it is short, fleeting and precious. Go date, enjoy the company of other women, boost your confidence and stop letting your wife hold you back or more importantly stop letting YOU hold YOU back.
Let go, detach, let go of resentment, the sooner you do this, those emotions you speak of on a daily basis will subside as well and life will be easier.
You have no value in her perception. She doesn't want what she can have easily and you're conquered, she can have you any day.
You're not dealing with love anymore, she's emotionally charged with feelings for another man and there is nothing you can do about it. Waiting forever and a day isn't going to bring her back, if anything it will make her feel sorry for you but that won't spark feelings of attraction.
