Gritter replied: You shared a lot a couple of posts ago. It sounds like he is having self esteem issues. He's scared Sh*%less. It's funny to you probably because you look at him as so successful and driven and he was the football player, the lawyer, the partner, the beautiful wife every guys dream! right? On the inside though. You said he was depressed and moody etc. There is a deep dark secret in there. He won't tell you about it.
I completely agree with this. I just don't know what it is. I really don't think he was abused. His family and I spoke about this and we do not believe this to be the case AT ALL. His moodiness and irritability have been a trademark of his since adolescence.
I know some ignorant people think that when a H has an A..he isn't getting sex from his wife. This is truly just that- ignorant. The reason I bring this up is because my husband declined sex several times because he felt fat..he didn't feel good about himself (this is exactly what he said). The first time he said that..I was kind of confused.. I think I have heard it 3x throughout our marriage..typically when he wasn't exercising and his weight did get a bit out of control for him. I always thought this was odd to hear from a man.
He definitely has self esteem issues...which he sometimes masks with arrogance or the ol'- put someone else down to make myself feel better.. His childhood friend married my best friend- so I have gotten to learn alot about his behavior while he was growing up. His childhood friend went to college and law school with him..so they are very tight. In high school and college..he could be just a complete (bleep). But by college- he seemed to have matured a bit and his friend didn't feel like punching him in the face once a week. By the time I met him- I only had the privilege of seeing this behavior occassionally. In the past two years..more than I care to admit.
He does blow off people that hurt him in anyway..or if perceives they hurt him. He has only a few close friends. He is not trusting guy which is ironic. But he does love to be adored..and the OW does just that...and I think she has it down to an art.. she has had plenty of practice. Her never being married or in a committed long term relationship..she doesn't get what a real relationship is and just plays the girlfriend role..sending my best representative role.
As we spoke about in an earlier post..he does have some intimacy issues... I do (or did) look at him as so successful etc...but I do see pain in him..something is just not right. GOD I wish I could get inside his head.
