WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

You're putting too much into what SHE wants. Have you thought about YOUR needs? The thing is that what she wants changes from day to day. You need to stay consistent. Live well and if she chooses to be with you so be it. It's like the thing about God. She has to prove why she's worthy for you. Not the other way around.

With her waffling, I think she's going to lead you through hoops. Stop playing her game and start setting a new set of rules.

"Now she can't say I did not reach out to her."

That seemed like a roundabout way of reaching out to her. Keep the messages short and to the point.

Thanks Bond. I actually think her depression is getting worse, and her mom does too. I want to show loving detachment.

I am addressing one of her concerns/fears about coming back and trying to alleviate that. If she agrees to make an effort to reconcile, believe me, it won't be one sided. I will ensure my needs/boundaries are addressed. I want to convince her that her home will be "safe" for her to return to so that we can get down to the difficult task of reconciliation.

The game has changed slightly in my favor if indeed she is staying away from OM contact. That was my boundary to enable any kind of effort on my part to reach out.

I am dealing with a flip flopping scared cat, and trying to lure it into the house. Me being aware of and even expecting the flip flops helps in dealing with them. It also helps me to not create any expectations.

I appreciate any and all input on these tactics.