Newly Separated and Heartbroken

[ALJ]

Today was not a good day for me. I have been riding on this journey for almost a year now, thinking that H and I maybe had a chance to reconcile. I just got into the habit of thinking that everything is going to be okay. Then I get the news about the OW.

That sickning feeling of fear that I used to get all the time after H had announced his plan to leave, almost a year ago, has returned. My stomach has been in knots all day and my heart seems to be aching. I never had a anxiety attack before but this must be what it feels like.

My h has somewhat admitted to an emotional affair with this girl, without actually saying it. I had a feeling about the two of them when I would see pictures of them together at the promotional parties he would have for his company last year. I never questioned him about it, afraid of what he might tell me. Now this same girl has moved down to Georgia where he is and lives in the same apartment complex as him. She is also co-owner of his new company. Her picture is on the website. He tells me they started out as friends and they are still good friends. They go to the movies, out to eat, and even over to each others house. He says he has fun with her. This really hurt me and It shows one of the things that was lacking in our marriage. He claims there is nothing physical between them. I am it is just a matter of time before there will be. 9 times out of 10, their relationship is already physical.

My MIL knows about the OW. I called her and we talked. She has been so supportive of me and girls. She has always been the worlds best MIL and has not changed because of what has happened. My H has not said that this girl and him are a couple so I don't know who else knows. I feel like I am back at square one again.

My h claims he doesn't know what he wants when I started asking about his relationship with this girl so I told him I am not going to say anything else about her to him again. This is a new can of worms to me and I am back to being confused about to handle this. Should I validate, act like everything is okay, etc? H sent a text to me the day I found out about him and her (see above post) I didn't reply for almost a day and when I did I just told him that I was sorry for anything that he felt that I did wrong to him. I was just so emotional that I really did not know how to respond.


I went to the library to get books on surving affairs and other materials on self improvement. I plan on reading DR again. I still want to attempt to reconcile with my husband. I am just hurting right now trying to keep it inside for my kids sake.