I understand. I struggle with the unconditional love thing too. But I keep this little piece of wisdom that I have found along the way.
This is from "Conversations with God"
"It is not in the action of another, but in your re-action that your salvation will be found ...
In all human relationships there is only one question... WHAT WOULD LOVE DO NOW?
No other question is relevent, no other question has any importance to your soul...
What you do for yourself you do for another for to do "what is right" by the other-to be quick to forgive, to show compassion, to continually look past certain problems and behaviors- you become resentful, angry, and mistrusting, even of God."
Obviously I have been coming back to this for guidance with my sitch but it is a daily struggle.
It almost kind of points to the advice they give to people involved with Alcoholics- to detach. You have to take care of yourself and only they can help themselves. We are dealing with addictions here. They are addicted to dealing with life with all the pain, chaos and dysfunction. My W uses alcohol. And now a relationship as her drugs. They are just avoiding and denying.
Unless I see some true commitment to heal and stop the self destruction I'm going to remain detached (not actually detached yet but working on that.)
Gritter
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
