Positive Moments In Time

[25yearsmlc]

well perhaps k4 thinks if he gets an annulment he can date and remarry and thereby end his loneliness AND not give it another thought..."what divorce? What failed m? There was NO m!!" It would mean not changing himself so much, e.g., treating the long term intermittent depression, gaining coping skills and decision making techniques that are age appropriate (sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to).

Also might allow for him to somehow ignore or skim over the rest of the implications that logically follow an annulment when so much time passed in the "fake" marriage, and children were born of it. How do you tell the kids they were not born of a valid marriage? What does it mean about their legitimacy, and how is his not wanting to be Catholic until now, somehow meant to mean that neither he nor she meant or understood their vows when they made them, among other things. These are just a few wrinkles in the approach but I don't think they're even necessary.

K4 likes rigidity b/c it provides clarity and safety to him. He says he doesn't like gray areas or "lingering questions" and that it would so bother him, he'll live like a monk if there's no annulment --OR he'll "fail" to live the monastic life, and then he can feel crappy about himself forever...some choice.
Priests at Catholic U would tell us "how can you hold onto a conviction or belief if you've never challenged it?" AND more relevant to this, I was frequently told "the mystery of our faith means in part that there are unknowns and we accept that we don't know all the answers"...otherwise
it's like the idea of a grasshopper pondering whether we are plants or aliens or Democrats or Republicans...I mean, we are so beyond the ken of grasshoppers, like God is so beyond our comprehension, I don't get bogged down in the details of creed that seem to give you comfort. I fear the need for so much detail and "instruction" on your end, will not lead you to more happiness, but less. And keep you from doing the real work we've been nagging you about for over a year now. Wow, it has been awhile...just looked at dates. Yikes.

But Yes there is a more loving way to live, K4 and it is "The Way"...meaning, don't make it harder than it already is, Kev.
j-