Well, maybe it would be a bit easier if you broke things down to the absolute basics right now.
On the emotional side of things you must work on detaching.
On the "logistical" side of things you must (and it sounds like you are working on this, very good!) find childcare for your children so you can begin earning a stable income.
This is really a win-win. If you and your H do divorce you will have a good start on the next phase. If you and your H reconcile the detachment is a healthy place to be AND your extra income will help with the money troubles.
When things seemed so very bleak to me that is how I tried to look at things... if we divorce then I will be on the right path OR if we reconcile at least X, X and X will be taken care of and the stress of the "logistical issue" will be removed.
