I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Quart9]

Hey Mr. Bond I don't get this: "So the best thing to do is to hunker down and let the WAS blow their paths of destruction around you." What do you mean?

So she won't intiate the D because she doesn't want to look like the bad guy? I was hoping she would say she wanted a D in our convo yesterday. She never once brought it up and I didn't either. Maybe I should have.

I still can't believe she told me to just "move on" like we were breaking up and our sitch doesn't require a D to do so. I'm amazed by how callow she is about marriage. Like moving on and washing your hands of someone is such an easy thing to do after spending 9 years with them ya know.

I don't think she is toying with me Crush - she's just heartless now as far as I'm concerned to her. And knowing what I know now, I essentially would have been moving back into a whore house if I had done that. I don't think it would have been entertainment but rather even more hell.

The hopelessness of this sitch is pretty overwheling at times. The next opportunity I have to go to the courthouse and file the D papers is on Friday after class. I'm hoping to feel some relief once I get that going. Thanks for being behind me.