TG-I will look at your sitch and see what insight I can give you. I have found that sexual abuse in adolescents changes everything-especially if they do not get professional help. It ties your hands in so many ways. True unconditional love seems to be the answer, but that is sometimes misunderstood.
God gives us unconditional love, which at times is putting someone or something in our path to help us, AFTER we have done all we can do. problem is, HE knows when that is and what is really best for us, but he leaves us our agency to choose what path to follow.
Our challenge is that we don't understand like HE does, and sometimes we get in the way of progress by doing too much for the person we wish to help, which slows their growth. There are times that with where they are at mentally, they may have indeed done all they can, or know how to do (we fit in that boat also). Trying to figure out when and how to be involved with helping them is the tough part, and then knowing when you have to save YOU, regardless if they continue to make bad decisions.
As they say-"There is no easy way!". I've decided that for me to be ok with the guy in the mirror when the smoke all clears, I'll error on the side of mercy, and not justice. That's what I'd like for me when I meet my maker. At the same time, just like God, letting them make their mistakes and figuring it out is really unconditional love too. Just like God does with each of us, and the way we do with our kids if we are wise. There does come a time each of us is accountable for our choices. I'm still trying to make good ones, and the right ones in all of this. We all might screw it up on some days and other days we do it just right. I'm right there myself, just still trying to figure out what the "best" thing for me to do each day is in the situation I'm in. I've found that some days it is different. Staying close to God helps me figure it out better at times.
Doing just the opposite of what you think you should do some days is right, and other days it might not be. If you find yourself in a funk (don't we all) you may just need to completely pull back and take care of you the way it's described on these boards.
Good luck to each of us that are struggling to know what might make a difference. For me it seems that when I do the things that help me deal with life on a more clear consistent basis, I am doing something right. Hope that helps.
