i guess i'm just wondering why i'm feeling empathetic towards someone i should be angry at right now. ... where was he for me to reach out to when i was hurting and crying and in a bad place a few weeks ago?
You neither should nor shouldn't be angry. If you are, you are - they're your emotions. I think many of us have had good and bad days. Holding on to anger or expecting it only makes matters worse. I think you've done well in holding off your anger - that's awesome!
Where was he...many on these boards have told you to GAL and whatever. Did you ever try to reach out and get his emotional support? Do you think he could when you have the boards and a life coach while he is just starting IC? You don't want to live your life this way, but in some regards I don't think this separation is a new one - it seems like part of last year's but this time you're solving it better.
He moved out. That was mean. He should've stayed to work it out. I think that. Now what have I/my wife been told by others...we've been told one of us needs to get out, unless someone is begging to come back to survive on our anger, ... all sorts of unhelpful junk.
Marriage isn't about the individual, it is about the couple together. You are loaning a good loan, not a bad one. So what if he has no money now, he's working to build it. It sounds very nice to the individual to not loan him until he's offering, but that isn't necessarily the best way just because it feels empowering. Marriage isn't about individual power, is it?
