Obviously everyone is entitled to the views and opinions, expecially how they pertain to their own unique situtaion. I appreciate your views and respect. For us, (x)W and I, counseling will an entirely life altering scinerio. We don't need it for our past issues, and to "deal" with each other. Ironically, what it boils down to is to help now the both of us deal with the same issue that causes each and every one of the disputes we've had thus far: insecurity.
(x)W has always been insecure, always. If I was out of her sight for more than 5 minutes of the prescribed time I said I'd be back, she got insecure. If I didn't call enough times in a day, she got insecure. If I spoke to / received an e-mail from somebody she didn't know, she got insecure. And now, she carries a lot of that same insecurity in everything about me during and after the divorce she procreated and I was free to do as I pleased, after all, she was "head over heels and engaged to OM", no? But also, if we go more than a couple of days without intimacy, she gets HIGHLY insecure.
For me, obviously my insecurity stems from the affair. Yes, I accept her reasons for having it. And yes I forgive her for doing it. But dagnabit, I can't shake it's happened once, who's to say it won't again?
It's not as serious as an issue as it sounds on both sides, please don't react too heavily to it.
That said: progress on all fronts.
Mainly, I was allowed in (x)FIL's "garage-ma-hall" last night for the first time in what 3 years? He's been working on his car (a 25 year project) and finally getting it ready for it's big debut at fairly major auto show. That was pretty cool. Even when he was done for the night he came in and didn't snarl at me, actually hasn't in a few days now.
Secondly, a strange thought occured to me last night, but I'm not sure how this is going to pan out. (x)W ALWAYS refers to me in conversation and introduction as her husband, nothing else. I feel, and maybe it's part of that insecurity thing, maybe it's still the reformed WAS in me, that the burden to express the desire to re-marry be on her. After all, without saying so in displeasure of her previous actions (ie - the big D).
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
(x)W ALWAYS refers to me in conversation and introduction as her husband, nothing else. I feel, and maybe it's part of that insecurity thing, maybe it's still the reformed WAS in me, that the burden to express the desire to re-marry be on her. After all, without saying so in displeasure of her previous actions (ie - the big D).
