Retrouvaille

[pigskin]

Just so you know, the first rule about Retrouvaille (like Fight Club) is that you don't talk about Retrouvaille. At least not what goes on there except in very general terms. They do ask that of everyone on the last day, for good reason, so that people don't get too many ideas about it.

If there is an OM in your situation, prepare for it to not change that at all. It will definitely undermine the effort of the weekend, which is to give you the tools to address your problems. They say third party relationships must be ended before attending. They don't always check on this (they didn't in my situation and I went anyway).

It is a lot of effort to go through and not get what you want out of it. It is well worth it to try to end the OM situation, get an agreement to work on the marriage, and then attend. That said, if communication is an issue for you, and it seems like it is for almost all marriages, there is still some benefit to be had. Just manage your expectations accordingly.