I just got off phone with husband and I am not sure how I feel about the conversation. I asked husband what he was trying to say last night and he basically was saying taht he really messed up and feels bad taht his actions drove his family away. He basically wanted to know what we were doing. I was hesitant to open up to him about my true intentions but I did. I told him that when I moved away I was ok whichever way we went but I wanted what I always stated that I wanted which is our family/our marriage. Told him that I would move back up there but he would have to establish No contact with OW. Husband said that was almost impossible because their son is only two and he is not able to call his son directly. I told him he could contact son through someone else but he felt that was making someone else take on his responsibility. he said that would be equal to him having to contact my mom in order to get in contact with our son. I honestly don't know what to do with this. Basically after I threw that boundary out there I could tell he shut down. So I asked him what did he suggest. How does he suggest to cut out OW in reagards to affair. He said he didn't know. He said that on one hand he wants his marriage and on the other hand he is not sure he is ready to work on it.
So I feel setup. He knew he still had this confusion going on but bought up this conversation like he was ready to talk and make some decision on it last night. But husband is still "not sure" what he wants! He then said that he is going to get a two bedroom apartment to keep the option open for me to move back...I am upset that he is implying that his family is an OPTION. Maybe he didn't mean it like that but that is how i took it. I told him that this is something that i don't have answers to and that it would be best that we discuss these things with the FT. he agreed. Then he asked what title we have, what are we doing. I told him that dating other people is cheating as we are still married. He said ok.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
