mish, what's the worst thing that can happen if you apply somewhere? You don't get the job! And you already don't have the job, so you haven't lost a thing!
No more giving up before you start! There might be disappointment, but that's ok! That goes for getting a job, meeting friends, and getting the CS out of Gabe! No more, "It won't work because...". If you've had enough, it's time for you to take control of your life.
