I even went so far as to point out to S17 the devisiveness of XHs actions. S17 said he had already spoken to D14 about it and she was 'cool'. however at 14 she obviously won't realise the full implications. He also said he isn't looking forward to having to tell D19 at which point I said if his dad had really thought this through he wouldn't be putting S17 in that position. I was extremely bold and also asked him to question why his dad would want him to do that. He asked me what I meant and I said I thought his dad was trying to buy his love by rewarding S17 for being 'loyal' and punishing D19 for not. This provoked a very prolonged silence!
Eventually I suggested to him that he speak to other people that he knows who are parents to ask them for their take on the sithc. I know he has done this b/c I had a friend staying last might and he asked her when I went out the room to make a drink. I hpe he asks afew more as hopefully he will get a few answer that he hadn't bargained o. My friend asked him why at 19/20 he would want to be tied donw with a flat when he could be off travelling and exploring the world.
D14 has bowed to XHs pressure to go stay with him this week even though it was officially my turn to have her. I've still made a point of taking her to her nurse appointments though (much to XHs disgust) and she has spent a lot of time here.
I'm playing the long game. I know that eventually my two younger children will see through XHs actions but I'm not looking forward to having to pick up the pieces.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
