The journey begins

[awest1217]

I agree with Drew. You shouldn't do less that 50/50 since you are with them that much time already, but you also need to decide this between you and W or between your lawyers because at the age your girls are at, they do not need the added stress of deciding where to live and no matter what hurting someone. It is the beginning of the process, but you need to keep the girls out of this as much as possible.

[Drew]

Which is why I suggested the Parenting Class. It speaks a great deal to what the children go through and what you should try to avoid.

[Gardener]

CTH,

I want 50/50. I deserve nothing less so I just have to stand my ground and not be bullied.

Good. You are right.

I will sign off on no agreements where it isn't joint physical custody. I'll see that through no matter the cost.

Good!

The rest will take care of itself.

Yep, for the most part.

Good attitude. Good stance.

I would suggest researching - or just asking L - how much "weight" is given to D's wishes. And In what setting are they asked. Probably very privately and totally confidentially by a social worker or somesuch.

[ClingingToHope]

Really, I keep hoping I won't have to take it. But I will, Antlers, after I get her wish list. I've heard it's a really, really sad class.

Side note, I'm going to need W to be flexible. Turns out I marked down the wrong weekend for working my first running race. It's on a weekend I do have the girls, which means I need W to flip flop weekends or I'm out $350.

So I sent her an email and then texted her telling her there's an email because she rarely checks it.

I used it also as a way to finalize the spring break week plans. I know I told her about the trip to Florida, but we never talked about it at length.

Basically, if we switch I'd have them the weekend before and after spring break, plus I'd have them that week.

So I'm throwing out there that they could stay at her place Monday and Tuesday night since we fly out Wednesday and I'd bring them over Sunday night because the next day I go to Cincinnati for opening day.

One fly in the soup. Last year I gave her $80 of every $350 I made in this second job. I hadn't seen an attorney yet and thought I would end up owing it plus I was still in "nice guy, this will blow over mode" and I didn't want her falling behind on the house payements.

My L told me it since the work is irregular and I'm an independent contractor it would unlikely be included in a divorce settlement so it's up to me whether I want to give her any.

Well, I'll owe taxes on this next year and will no longer have the mortgage deduction so I planned on putting every cent I make into credit card debt.

I worry she might say, yes, I'll switch, are you giving me some of it.

But I'm letting my mind work ahead. First things first, let's see what she says.

Good news, is the six of the other seven races that I know I'll get work on are on weekends I don't have the girls and I can always work smaller events to make up if I miss the first one. It's just that I'm in such a debt hole right now I want to work as much as possible -- and I seriously had a four-pack of abs at the end of running race season last year.

[Drew]

You have to take it. It's not that bad. I did it online. It will explain the whole process of coming to a parenting agreement. Best way is to agree on it between the two of you. If you can't come to an agreement you'll be ordered into mediation. If you can't come to resolution there, the judge will order psychological evaluation, a trial, and the custody wars will be on. THAT'S what you don't want to happen. In the long run it does no one any good.

[ClingingToHope]

My hope is that it will be taken care of through mediation. I did not know you could take it online. I'll look into that.

I was leaving for work today when W showed up with D11. D11 had to drop off some makeup stuff for her play.

Just seeing W put me in a five-minute funk. Tell me again when that goes away?

[Drew]

My hope is that it will be taken care of through mediation. I did not know you could take it online. I'll look into that.

Depends on your county, some make you take it live. Your lawyer will know.

Tell me again when that goes away?

It goes away ........... when it goes away.

That's YOUR choice.

[mishka422]

Tell me again when that goes away?

I'll let you know when I get to that point. It's been over 2 years so far.....

[kat727]

It goes away when you drop the rope that connects you. That comes on your time schedule and no one elses. It is strange being somewhat civil to the man I once loved but I also realize that he is no longer the person he once was. That person is gone.

I will admit I did get a bit upset when I found out he was engaged to his affair partner. Upset again when I saw her telling a mutual friend of ex's and mine basically when the wedding is. I know that I don't want him back in any way, but it is sad for our family that it ended this way.

kat

[ClingingToHope]

W agreed on the weekend switch. It'll be tough going two straight weekends without them -- although the second one I'll be working in Chicago the entire time.

But it'll be fun from March 26 through April 4. I'll have them nine straight days and six nights.

Really hard keeping my focus today. I'm trying to flip my brain. To fill it with other thoughts.