all along been trying way too hard and loving too much.
Or is it really that you haven't been loving enough to give her what she wants? Think about that.
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now she's done a terrible job of following much of any rule and i've been letting the boundaries fall.
You can't control what is uncontrollable.
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i went to her atty today and dropped off my little red book of stuff pulled etc.
Why did you give it HER attorney? Don't be a martyr!
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i'm not monitoring it anymore. my d won't get in the car and my wife isn't going to make her, she's never made d do anything and that's fine, it's there relationship and well there isn't any winning. D will come around.
Let D deal with the consequences of her actions...she is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong...if she isn't...then she will learn the hard way.
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resources there is debate stringing it along or making them do all the work, in my families case, stalling or her doing the work isn't going to help. it's only going to pro long the mlc and everything else.
Each situation is different...you have to apply the resources as best you can to the situation. We try to help you apply them with emotional detachment instead of applying them in emotional outrage....there is a difference.
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but in this case giving the divorce, that does take the heat off of me and you know even more than saying goodbye, which i told her that today, hurt her so much she asked if i was committing suicide, i hate that word there are no such things as goodbye, why would you say that.
Saying goodbye is a good set towards closure AYK....it really is.
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i got a new role now, i need to teach my son how to be a man earlier than he should have to and at some point d will come around, but this instability it's killing them too.
Then be his rock!
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i also learned a lot about trust. you really can not trust your spouse, mlc or not, you can trust a friend or stranger, but family you just can't trust them and they probably can't trust you either.
This statement is an example of why we push to self journey so much....You have to learn to be able to trust again. If you don't take the journey you will always have a hard time trusting or loving in the future. The pain you feel now will continue to affect you the rest of your life.....is that something you want?
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ur right mlc you're not fighting for a marriage, you fight for urself, pray for the opportunity and we're charged with being the gate keepers if they make it back, but until the divorce we're casualties,
You are fighting for you...not as the gatekeeper if they come back or as a casualty of war...but for you. So that pain like you describe in the above quote about trust does not affect you for the rest of your life. I see so many divorced people at the bar who are just filled with anger, resentment, distrust, and self-pity....it is just sad to see. The truth though...they choose to be that way inside of looking inside.
The choice is yours AYK.......you still haven't made it though. So what do YOU want?
