flo, you will hear different oppinions, everyone has one ,keep in mind where everyone comes from.
We've done the MC appointement a year before he moved out. At that time, I had no idea what was going on. He had checked out and was doing his last ditch effort as well. He even used that apt later to prove to me he had done all he could. Yeah right!!
When I said active parent I was mistaken. My kids actually saw my H a lot more than they did when he was staying with us the last year before the separation. But it would be ONLY when he could and felt like it. He had the luxury to use work, sicknesses, schedule, the weather if he wanted to avoid his responibilities. I am grateful he never abandoned the kids or has flaky with the money. But he had removed himself from our daily routine and life. I consider that cake eating...
Please, think of what you want/need. Stick to it, set a deadline to yourself if you need to and focus on you. Dont allow him and his actions to affect you so much... It sucks, I know. You go back and forth bewteen extremes, you love him and hate him. You are angry/hurt, disappointed/hopefull. You feel devasted you feel strong. It's all normal. Learn to recognise your lows, it's a cycle, when you hit one, wait it out, sooth your self, dont despare. (My group of DEAR friends here back in 2007, used to help each other identify our lows and supported each other till it would pass).
Read Passionate Marriage. Ignore the title, it will help you a lot to detach and be able to comfort YOURSELF without needing anyone to do it for you. K
,keep in mind where everyone comes from. 
