Pls help--confused and fearful

[P17]

DbD, I haven't checked in with you for a while. Been catching up on what is happening. Just want to echo what everybody else said - you're there. You've come so far now. I remember when you were responding to every text message or email from H and we were all shouting 'Noooooo' but you couldn't help it. Look at you now! You have the control. You have the handle on all of this. H has no chance now. He's lost any hold or control over you.

Okay I know now why he is so angry... it's all over having to give us temporary support. I should have known that... duh.

I know we all pretty much agree that your H is a total a$$ but I think he is angry still through guilt. He's hurting. He knows what he's doing but the only way to stop the hurt and guilt, for him, is to remove the source of that hurt and guilt - you and the kids. Guilt is a very powerful emotion. It makes sane people do very insane things to alleviate it. Problem is, you can't alleviate guilt by removing the source of it - you need to confront it. H may or may not realise that one day - he needs to confront what he has done.

Should we feel sorry for him? Absolutely not. But I think all his actions are based on hurt and guilt so we should understand it.

I've never forgotten this phrase I read in a book called Tuesdays With Morrie ... 'people are mean when they are threatened'. I think it's very apt for your H.

You've won DbD. War is over. All you have left is the clearup battles. Those little skirmishes where the enemy tries to save some face. But you've still won. You've won the war over DbD's future. A future without H. A future that I have no doubt will be a good one.

Just my 2p worth.