WAW Using God II

[MrBond]

"I just told her don't be, you can't help what you feel."

Uh yes she can. It's called free will. It's called choice. If she CHOOSES to stay in the relationship and acts on it, the feelings will follow.

With all this talk of God, have you thought of going to Retrouvaille?

Okay I think the biggest problem with your conversation with her was that you were validating some of the wrong things. After everything she was rambling on about, just say, "I see why you might have felt that way."

Never say, "I understand your feelings" because truth is you don't. All you want to do is agree that she views her perspective a certain way. Then stick to your guns and say "I believe..."

Your W sounds like she's going through a major midlife crisis and is using God to okay her childish behavior. Well last time I checked, your W was an adult. With adult responsibilities. God isn't going to show her the way because she doesn't want to be found. She's fine being confused right now. So let her be. Think of her as the Prodigal Son. If she wants to come back home, she knows where to find you.

All the stuff about how she was "reaching out" to you over her vacation, then turning around and saying that she doesn't know if she can trust God yet. Give me a break.

God is just God. You take Him or leave Him. He doesn't have to prove anything. It's up to us to prove that we are worthy of Him. So I wouldn't get into the God issue anymore with your W. Get her away from thinking about divine intervention and more about how she is going to fix the mortal mess that she made.