BUNS, ABS, AND HEART OF STEEL #3

[ACJ]

FIB I wish you well when and if the scenario you describe happens.

I agree with everything you say and I'm doing my best to be exactly that way. As an example I recently spent the best part of a whole week sitting in the same room as XH virtually 24/7 some days as my D14 had to have her appendix removed and she was very ill.

I was nice, I tried, in vain, to initiate conversation to lighten the atmosphere but XH was having none of it. He was moody, rude, inconsiderate and stuck with his usual dictatorial manner. I quite literally turned the other cheek and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. My D14 had requested that no one visit her expcept for us but within 24hrs XH was parading OW (now wife) and XMIL into the room. It was made clear to me that I should leave the room for these two visitors. I did it for the sake of my D14.

A week later she was readmitted with a wound infection. My parents, who live away, had not seen her due to her wishes but I decided to take them to see her in hospital this time. XH was already there when we arrived. He made no move to repay the situation and neither was he asked to do so. He left 2 mins after my parents so clearly was sitting it out until they left.

As a result of other thigs that happened whilst she was in hospital I ended up asking my L to send him a letter. HE replied directly admitting that he was dictatorial but quite clearly thought he knew better than the L (which by the way he didn't).

This is the ongoing bitterness inflicted by th former WAS that some of us are still having to put up with despite everything supposedly being resolved.

Believe me it is NOT EASY to deal with.